It began with a skull.
In the final act of 1990’s Predator 2, our hero (Danny Glover) creeps inside the interior of the Predator’s spaceship and finds the skull of an alien (or xenomorph) displayed among a collection of trophies. What was intended as an in-joke eventually became fan obsession that spawned comic books, novels, video games, even playing cards that toyed with the concept of predators and aliens co-existing–and yes, fighting. In the mid 90s–as the well began to dry for both properties–20th Century Fox pushed ahead with a feature project that pegged the movie monsters against each other. The project lay dormant in development hell until 2004. “Whoever wins…we lose.” Indeed.
Taking place in present day, a corporation (the same that royally screws over Ripley in the future) discovers an ancient civilization buried in the Antarctic. A team of specialists excavate the pyramid-shaped temple, only to discover that its a trap set by the predators, who return to Earth every century to battle the alien game that spawn from fresh human hosts.
Once the exits close off, the imprisoned alien queen is thawed so she can lay fresh eggs, and the predators arrive to Earth to slaughter the new batch of xenomorphs and humans. The lone human survivor, Alexa Wood, played by a very bored Sanaa Lathan (Life, Blade) teams up with one of the predators (you read correctly) to fend off the xenomorphs and return to the surface.
Alien vs. Predator is a dumbed-down fan service to the younger crowd who eat these films up. As a consequence, there is no hint of mystery. The predators and aliens no longer hide in shadows or behind cloaked camouflage for very long. Even the moments of suspense are nullified by the “false alarm” tactic. Nobody ever declares they’re standing behind the alarmed soul as they walk backwards.
The human cast is merely fodder for the monsters. Before the rampage, the temple unleashes its many traps including shifting walls and floors. In other words, this is the predators’ version of “Double Dare”. When one the monsters has its victim cornered, it would appear that we should applaud the aliens and predators the same way so many sadists cheer for Jason and Freddy. If one of your nameless heroes laments over never getting home to see his son again, you know he’s as good as lunch. Why even bother to let him speak?
When I first saw AVP back in 2004, I exited theater with a tepid satisfaction. The film was dumb, no doubt, but it was a fun ride. After re-watching the film eight years later without the companionship of an exuberant audience, the flaws were more apparent.
When the aliens and predators aren’t engaged in combat, the film suffers from bland acting and characterizations. Why focus so much on the humans, anyway? The plot is threadbare enough to risk allowing the laconic Predator to be the star. Why not follow the hunter as he outwits and outguns the alien horde before he finds the Alexa character?
AVP fulfills the obligation of answering the eternal questions: Which alien would win in a fist (claw) fight? What would happen if a facehugger latched onto a Predator? How dangerous is a queen compared to a fully armed predator?
Such intrigue is of interest to reserved to the fans and no one else. Those who don’t know the back-story will be lost. Even the alien’s development cycle is sped up and unexplained just so the fans can get to the action quicker. The hatching of the facehugger, the “birth” and growth of the aliens occurs within minutes!
Most folks should consider AVP as a brainless, monster fest akin to the latter Godzilla films. We’re expected to soak in the numbing sounds and hyper-kinetic pace with handfuls of popcorn, and possibly buzzed by multiple beers–which helps amplify the laugh-out-loud humor of Lathan’s pis poor performance or anytime a predator bitch-slaps an alien. Like Aliens 3 and 4, the film forgoes the thrills. However, AVP does manage to keep a tongue in its cheek. It’s a fun one-time ride that is subject to critical scrutiny with each repeated viewing. The film’s modest box office success should have propelled 20th Century Fox to redivide the franchises and push each in fresh directions. Instead, they made a second AVP…
Next…
UGH!
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