It was apparent pretty early in the film that I was in for trouble. This may be the first feature length film I’ve seen with Robert Pattinson since he gathered the envy and lusts of teenage girls from the Twilight saga. His acting limitations were never more apparent than in Bel Ami, based on Guy de Maupassant’s novel. Pattinson switches between three expressions: smiling brightly, sulking anger, and utter nauseousness. Somehow this is enough to seduce three powerful women (Christina Ricci, Kristen Scott Thomas, and Uma Thurman) in 1890s Paris. The downtrodden George Duroy (Pattinson) is almost always in close-up–as if the directors Declan Donnellan and Nick Ormerod were also being seduced. I didn’t buy it and neither did my wife, whose opinion really counts for a story like this.
I won’t dabble into plot details, other than the talentless, penniless Duroy takes turns and occasionally overlaps between charming and sexually exploiting the three damsels. Two of them even declare they love him. Based on what little Duroy offers–financially or charismatically–I gather their love is based largely on his cheekbones.
Pattinson’s minimal range, his pretty-boy exterior doesn’t translate into another Don Juan. During his first meeting with the three ladies as well as their husbands (actors Colm Meany and Phillip Glenister), Pattison says little and has to force any hint of seductive prowess. It takes the strong wills of three talented actresses to fill in the gaps. The best is Ricci, whose doe-eyes emote desire and undying love to counter Pattinson’s vacant expressions. When their “love” is severed so he can hop into the bed after marriage nuptials with Uma Thurmas’s character, Ricci looks dismayed, Pattinson looks like he’s on the verge of vomiting.
His relationship with Thuman is bizarre. She seems to have no use for him other than as a plaything. There is even an unexpected (and poorly shot) sequence where Duroy pleads for sex and she obliges. Soon she ravages Duroy untils he’s on the verge of pleading for mercy. If you walked into Bel Ami midway, you might believe that the film was about Thurman’s character tempting–and even dominating the poor Duroy. Seriously, she’s practically raping the guy!
How in the hell did Duroy seduce any of them? This kind of film conjure images of the famous male sexual figures who charm ladies off their feet and out of their corsets. There was the average-looking John Malkovich seducing Michelle Phieffer (as well as Thurman, imagine that) in Dangerous Liaisons, which involves women falling prey to the seductive powers of mischievous men with hidden agendas. Hint: it has more to do with charisma than how they look in top hats. Pattinson’s smile is so bright and ill-timed that one could mistake Duroy for a possessed serial-killer rather than a suave seducer. There is not one moment where he conjures up a subtle smirk. Again, my barometer was based on my wife’s reactions, who found Pattinson charming for the first two minutes and an amusing bore for the rest.
The story is also a mess. Somehow Duroy is yanked into becoming a writer. There are moments when he showcases some glimmer of talent, but I couldn’t quite understand what he wrote or who wrote what for him. There’s never even one word of his writings that’s read aloud to hint at his talents. The story also includes much murmuring of the social political upheaval in France at the turn of the century that’s completely lost in the translation. Thurman, particularly, seems motivated by nationalistic agendas that don’t lead anywhere.
Inevitably, the film boils down to some variation of a battle-of-the-wits between Duroy and Thomas’s husband (Meaney), who knows he’s bedding his wife. There’s a scene where the two play a game of cards with suggestions of a fierce negative and combative vibe. The always pleasurable Meaney looks fierce and determined. Pattinson looks bored and eager to get back to Twilight. And my wife was digging Meaney more.
Note: Considering how formulaic these films have become, it might have been interesting to see a film in which Uma Thurman turns Robert Pattinson into her male sex-slave. Tell me that wouldn’t attract the Twilight crowd!
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