Merry Christmas! (and Holiday gift memories)

As a movie buff, you’d probably expect me to hit the multiplex on December 25th, but you’d be wrong.  Even my fervent love of cinema has its limits.  I’d prefer to nestle in my home on Christmas day, playing with my toys, talking up a storm with family and friends, playing games, scary ghost stories (OK, that last one is untrue, but I never understood that reference in the song.  Who tells creepy tales on Christmas??)  Label me old-fashioned, but the idea of a showering and travelling outdoors just to see Les Miserables seems like stress, not pleasure–at least after three hours of a gift-giving frenzy.

Of course, in a bit of hypocrisy  I’ve been introduced to some of my favorite films on Christmas Day.  I spend a chunk of the day seeing new films and reacquainting myself with lost treasures.  So, you can understand if I always select gifts that bear the dimension and weight of blurays (formerly DVDs, formerly VHS tapes).  

I love getting movies on Christmas.  And I still carry happy memories of experiencing many features in my PJs, next to rumpled, torn wrapping paper, while my family nurtures their exhausted bodies and minds.  

Christmas 88′

The first and only occasion where our family Christmas was held upstairs in our playroom.  With an eight-foot tall tree, I was in awe to find mountains of presents that Santa managed to smuggle, which included a full sized, riding train set as well as my cherished copy of E.T., with a green cassette.  A lovely film that had me mesmerized.  I still recall reporting each scene to Mom and Dad downstairs.  “E.T’s dead.”  “E.T’s alive!”  “E.T. went home!!”  I’m going to watch it again!!!”  

Christmas 93′

I don’t know how, but I managed to open six cassettes in order: Star Treks 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, and finally, 6!  I should check with the folks to determine if they had an order planned.  No matter.  And, once again, in a fitting bit of hypocrisy  I spent most of my Christmas upstairs where I managed to squeeze in 4 1/2 films.  After watching ten minutes, I had a suspicion that  The Final Frontier was going to shit on my holiday cheer.  Also, as a major nerd footnote, when you stack all the cassettes in order, it formed a picture of the Enterprise.  How cool was that?  Anyone?  Any nerds reading?

Christmas 94′

I remembered seeing a commercial in which a man stepped out of the bathroom and proclaimed “Do not…go in there!  Whew!!”  For my feeble teenage brain, it was the funniest few seconds I had ever seen.  The film turned out to be Ace Ventura: Pet Detective.  Not sure why my folks picked this one up, but it introduced me to Jim Carrey and the notion that you can turn your ass-cheeks into a puppet.  Also, I watched The Fugitive for the first time.  Great film!

Christmas 95′

After many years of torture, I finally procured my first “official” copy of The Star Wars Trilogy, which came with warning labels that this was would my last opportunity to experience the original versions.  And that bastard, George Lucas, did not lie.  And I still don’t know what “remastered in THX” actually means.

Christmas 99′

A DVD drive for my computer.  A diversion from my college roommate’s TV monopolization becomes a new obsession.

Christmas 00′

My first DVD player and surround sound system.  A new era begins and well as a lot of irate college roomates.  My first “test” was Terminator 2.  Arnold yells “Get down!” and then his shot gun nearly shakes apart my room.  And it was good…

Christmas 01′

My father and I spend four hours in line at Best Buy during my first venture on Black Friday.  To kill time, I peruse the DVD section, constantly grabbing a few discs here and there which Dad uses as early Christmas gifts.  For this elongated process, I still look at my copies of Dogma, Goonies, and Doctor Zhivago with special fondness.  Thanks again, Dad!

Christmas 02′

My first personal camera.  Our trip to New York included copious hours of recorded bullshit, including our intrepid journey across one New York bridge that almost got my arrested.  Apparently, the police force don’t like video logs.  I got to keep the camera and my freedom.  God Bless, America!

Christmas 07′

My first high definition television.  Another new dawn begins.  Even while the TV sits on the living room floor, I scurry upstairs and return with my Playstation 3, an HDMI cable and my sole blu ray, Blade Runner.  In just two minutes, I finally learned why it was worth the purchase and upgrade.  

Christmas 10′

My first Christmas in my new house with my new wife.  She gets me the blu-ray collection of the Fantasia films.  God, I love her!

Christmas 11′

After a decade of daily use, I finally decided to ask for a new sound receiver that can capitalize on the blu ray sound.  Once again, thanks Dad!  It was hooked up within the next 24 hours.  The chorus of Skyrim filled the room.  Inception’s gun bullets ricocheted about the room like I never expected.  I’m this much closer to replicating the theatrical experience–and have one more reason to stay at home on Christmas…with the people who I love and are kind enough to humor a simple movie nerd.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!

Good screening to you, 

Chris