You will believe a franchise can die!
Superman IV swoops in for one futile attempt to restore its good name. Instead, it crashes and burns like the nuclear holocaust it attempts to lambast. Like Superman III, it mistakenly references current events; attempting to imbue anti-war messages while relishing in the splendor of seeing Superman exchange bouts with his super-powered opponent. Like Superman II, part IV underwent a change in management; this time the franchise migrated to Canon Films — a low-budget factory that churned out dozens of B-movies films in 1980s. To entice Christopher Reeve to return, Canon gave the star script control and the promise to produce a personal project of his choosing. Yet, Canon faced dire financial constraints and subdued their Superman installment with budgetary cuts and time-restrictions. The final product was the series’ first commercial bomb; an implosion so great that Christopher Reeve and company never returned to make Superman soar one more time. Instead, we’re left with a 90-minute civics lesson and a dozen hair-brained, half-baked ideas that couldn’t be rescued even with Margot Kidder and Gene Hackman marking their full returns.
The budget limits are glaringly obvious as the credits soar right and left to the far reaches of Earth. A Russian manned spaceship collides with an asteroid. Superman flies toward the camera, but something is already amiss. The effect looks terrible; Superman no longer seemingly floats, but bobs and stutters as if his oil needs changing. He revisits his Fortress of Solitude (which negates the ending of Donner’s original version to Superman II). The sets are merely a models and a projected series of paintings and cheap props. Even Christopher Reeve is beginning to show signs of wear-and-tear; his once sculpted body looks less imposing as it once did.
Despite the bad effects and cheap props, Superman IV’s script is so tepid and ridiculous. The once funny, energized Daily Planet banter has been degraded into childish quips. “All men like me! I’m very, very rich!” “The people of this city depend on us and we can’t let them down!” The nuclear arms race is referenced early and becomes the centerpiece to Superman’s plot. Yet, the specifics are omitted. In 1988, audiences could, supposedly, understand the nature and severity of the crisis. In 2013, we’re left drawing blanks, wondering why Superman spends most of the first half sitting and contemplating rather than flying across the skies. Superman finally decides to get political: something Donner, Mankiewicz and the Salkands slyly avoided. Rather than rescue cats from trees, Reeve must now perform trash pickup for the countries of the world; dispatching nuclear missles by cobbling them together in a giant fishing net and flinging them into the sun. Still with me?
Besides compromising Superman’s basic heroics, we also lose the awe and intrigue of his romantic fling with Lois Lane, despite Kiddor’s enhanced participation. During Clark’s pensive, depressed state over the affairs of the world, he gradually escorts Lois to his balcony and leaps off with her in tow. Lois, surprised and terrified, is suddenly rescued by Superman still donning Clark’s thick-rimmed glasses.
Why would he reveal himself again? One would argue that a distraught Kal-El needed reconnect with Lois for comfort and support, but also at the expense of reawakening her memories that he originally severed in Part II. In an dazzling display of insensitivity, Superman engages another kiss that smears Lois of her short-term memory. So, is Superman constantly revealing his secrets to Lois only to labotomize her? If so, Lois may be subject to more mental roofies than a guest at Amanda Bynes’ house.
With Superman’s relationship with Lois remaining stagnant, Clark, meanwhile, is constantly courted by the Daily Planet’s newest managing director, Lacy Warfield (Mariel Hemingway). Like Superman III, the new romantic interests have their sights on the overtly square Clark Kent. Yet, this element remains unexplored. Instead, the filmmakers throw in an unexplained comedy of errors where Superman inexplicably doublebooks dates with Lois (as Superman) and Lacy (as Clark) simultaneously. What ensues is a “Mrs. Doubtfire” sequence with Clark and Superman sneaking away and switching roles to deceive their respective dates. Despite the intrigue of witnessing Superman utlize his infinite speed, the scene remains a novelty rather than any critical plot element.
But Superman loves to mess with women’s heads.
Gene Hackman marks his first return to the franchise since 1978. He appears older, but at ease with taunting Superman and walking away to collect the check. His Lex Luthor escapes from prison thanks to his lame, cloying teenaged nephew Lenny (John Cryer of “Two and a Half Men”). He attempts to stall Superman’s attempt to disarm the world by cloning Superman using the son’s energy.
Hence, he creates Nuclear Man (Mark Pillow in his sole acting role), an 80s-band-drummer-turned-arch-nemesis. In fairness, Nuclear Man serves as Luthor’s tool and is limited to barking lion roars and spurting threatening one-liners. His fights with Superman do provide a sense of scope missing it the last installment. However, their ongoing bouts, which involve the destruction of the Great Wall of China, an active volcano in Italy, and the Statue of Liberty demonstrate the depreciating special effects. It’s during these moments when Superman IV feeble effects work resemble the films of Canon rather than Donner and the Salkands. The sound effects also hearken to Canon’s mill of crap, including their other bigger-budgeted follie, Masters of the Universe.
Superman IV runs at a mere 90 minutes and it shows. None of it subplots bear any weight. Instead, the subplots of shamelessly interlaced with no rationale. For example, Lacy is placed in jeopardy near the film’s conclusion because, apparently, Nuclear Man caught sight of her on the cover of the Daily Planet. Imagine if he ran across a Glamour. There’s also mention of the Daily Planet’s buyout and transition to tabloid journalism which does nothing but give Perry White (Jackie Cooper) and Jimmy Olson (Marc McClure) something to do.
Christopher Reeve exited the Superman franchise one final time by hovering above the Earth’s surface and smiling at the camera before flying off-screen. Seeing the film again, it’s jarring how ten years ages a person. Yet, Reeve remained steadfast in presenting both Clark Kent and Kal-El as unique entities that presented some credence to facade. Yet, Reeve’s investment in turning his final outing into a morality tale broke the rules of fantasy and wonder. It reminds me of the first film where he rescued Lois above bystanders who applauded and cheered. It was a wonderful fantasy. It was a world with a Superman– a fabulous dream that eventually ended. But Reeve remained the glue that presented the saga from becoming a laughing stock. Instead, Superman IV remains a film where all of the elements failed to meld together. Superman went from stopping an earthquake to stopping a speeding train merely by STEPPING on the rails. But Reeve never faltered even during the most embarrassing moments.
Therefore, Superman IV will remain a turkey, but I can never laugh at it. I can only smile with the S-Man and celebrate as he bid his final adieu — one last time — even in the state of utter defeat.
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