Justice League – Review

Before I begin, I have a confession.

Occasionally, I must preface my review with a warning that my initial impressions have been heavily influenced by outside objects or persons.  In this instance, my good pal, Kevin and I walked into the Raleigh Mission Valley Theater in a highly spirited mood that stemmed from our mutual pleasure of each other’s company coupled with our recent consumption of large quantities of coffee.  Kevin — a man of many enviable traits including his insatiable appetite for life, a hearty laugh and good humor — accompanied me to the theater while sharing my disdain for DC’s previous comic book films (Man of Steel, Batman v Superman and Suicide Squad).  We expected no better from Justice League.  

And then the movie began…

Guardians of the Galaxy–Review

It’s dangerously easy to get seduced by all of the positives found within James Gunn’s Guardians of the Galaxy.  It’s standard action fare, but still contains something fresh and innocent.  It forgoes the formula that plagues so many summer films.  Its neither cynical or marred by post-9/11 imagery, convolution, and dourness.  Its faulty plot can be forgiven thanks to Marvel’s sheer tenacity; it embraces its inane, ridiculousness and has fun with it.  In fact, Guardians of the Galaxy is, by far, Marvel’s greatest risk and, therefore, the most rewarding.

The biggest problem is its threadbare plot line.  At first, the story feels complex.  But after you filter out the numerous planets and alien terminology, it merely boils down with our heroes, foes, and all-things-dancing-in-between pursuing an all-important thing.  These Marvel films loves MacGuffins don’t they? 

X-Men: Days of Future Past–Review

X-Men: Days of Future Past is a return to form for a once great comic franchise.  When the first X-Men arrived in 2000, it ushered in a comic craze that hasn’t abated.  But when director Bryan Singer stepped aside to make Superman Returns, 2006’s X-Men: The Last Stand took the trilogy and the saga into a creative lull.  Properties like Spider-Man, Batman and The Avengers soon stole its crown.  But now Singer has returned after a 11-year-absence and has single-highhandedly restored that balance, making Future Past the best installment since 2003’s X2.  

Since Singer’s leave of absence, there have been no less than four additions of questionable quality and turns.  Rather than dwell on mistakes made during his time away, Singer pushes the story forward (and backward depending on how you perceive things) and manages to use a clever time-travel story element to make all right again.   By taking fan-favorite Wolverine (Hugh Jackson in his seventh turn) back in time to 1973, Singer closes the gaps between his cavalcade of gifted super-powered mutants, including the telepathic Professor Charles Xavier (Patrick Stewart), his former foe, Magneto (Ian McKellan) with the baby-faced incarnations from 2011’s X-Men: First Class, respectively played by James McAvoy and Michael Fassbender.  Using the mutant powers of Kitty Pryde (Ellen Page), Wolverine is able to travel from a apocalyptic future, where mutants and their human allies are on the brink of annihilation, to a point in history where he can thwart an assassination attempt by the shape-shifting Mystique (Jennifer Lawrence) which would prevent the travesty from ever occurring. 

The Amazing Spider-Man 2–Review

To understand the primary issue with Amazing Spiderman 2, imagine you’re watching a television show on Netflix.  After just two minutes, you select another episode.  Another two minutes pass and you jump to another.  Repeat this process several more times.  Now attempt to take make a cohesive story out of what you just saw.  Well, Amazing Spider-Man 2 feels just like that: many episodes cobbled together which form an incoherent plot with drastic shifts in tone and focus every few minutes.  There’s no grand structure or narrative — just a mess.

Marc Webb’s second installment is a severe drop from the 2012 film reboot reboot of director Sam Rami’s original Spider-Man trilogy (2002 to 2007).  In my review of the 2012 original, I noted that Amazing Spider-Man contained many improvements over Sam Raimi’s 2002 similar original tale, Spider-Man.  Now we have Amazing Spider-Man 2, which demands the same level of scrutiny with its 2004 sophomore equivalent, Spider-Man 2.  

Captain America 2–Review

Captain America: The Winter Soldier is a tiny miracle.  Despite being a cog in the well-oiled Marvel/Disney machine,  The Winter Soldier avoids feeling like a piece of mechanization.  It succeeds as an independent, inventive and surprising suspenseful installment.  In fact, Captain America 2 is the first tie-in movie since the original Iron Man that feels like a self-sustaining entity rather than a commercial for a dozen tie-in films and a billion dollars in merchandising. (Don’t worry folks, you still get two post-credit scenes that hint of more to come.)

Despite the success of prior films — with the Avengers laying the new Hollywood gold standard for large universe tie-in features — Marvel has been smart by letting each solo property reside within the confines of its own universe.  Captain America exists in a world that is surprisingly grounded in comparison to the fantastic Thor or the sci-fi driven Iron Man and Hulk.  This enables directors Anthony and Joe Russo to create film vastly different from any other Avenger film, even the original Captain America. 

The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug–Film Review

I’ve now seen roughly 2/3rds of Peter Jackson’s The Hobbit and can safely attest his prequel trilogy to his much-beloved LOTR matches the original in terms of special effects and scale. However, in crafting a fresh nine-hour epic, the comparisons — and shortcomings — become as transparent as the person who wears Sauron’s ring.

Despite applauding Jackson’s earlier installment, An Unexpected Journey, I’ve had no inkling to revisit it.  Those reservations ring (pun intended) even more true for the saga’s mid-section.  Despite both films’ dazzling new pathways through Tolkien’s Middle-Earth, imbued with seemingly infinite resources; a dazzling and seamless concoction of practical and digital effects — brought to life with skill and imagination, the whole thing feels forced and unnecessary.  The thrills are placed here not to add to the story but to justify its elongated running time.

Summer School: Lessons learned from failures and (a few) surprises

My posts have been spare this month because — among many things — I have been on a movie strike!

August releases like Elysium and The World’s End showed promise.  However, the trailers really suggested a sense of faint entertainment.  I remain content to sit and ponder for films that might offer genuine “experiences”.  In other words, neither was enticing enough to justify eight dollars.  Yes, I’m being prejuduce — maybe even unfair, but I’ve reached displeasure breaking point where the only remedy would be to completely withdrawl from the multiplex.  By going cold-turkey, I will rekindle my desire to sit in a beige-colored room filled with wining toddlers, loud and bright smart phones and a bevy of spectators who have no clue have far their sly comments travel even in a room filled with barrage of noise and light coming from Man of Steel’s frenetic conclusion.   

But I remain a voyeur of moving frames.  I maintain my ritualistic travels to Durham where Jim Carl and the good folks at the Carolina Theatre remind me what good cinema is: a collective experience where part of the fun is the love displayed before the lights fade and projector rolls to life.  And no, I’m not referring to previews to NBC’s Fall line-up, which even includes a post-summary for all the lucky folks who thought they could avoid such nonsense by entering the theater just one minute prior to showtime.   

When I think over the studios inferior summer lineup, I can’t help but ponder over the pre-movie tactics that piss me off long before the studio logo appears.  Example: Man of Steel held a “private” early screening sponsored by Walmart.  My screening ran late due to power outages.  Two of my friends had to bail, leaving me with a pair of unredeemed passes.  This eventually lead to a long debate three Walmart employees in order to procure equivalent to something that resembled a refund.  (At one point, the customer service rep accused me of not attending the screening at all!).  But before I had to endure the Walmart store, the movie finally began only to include a prelude: a “behind-the-scenes” featurette, which revealed plot elements and other things that were better saved for the actual film.  Why on earth would Walmart have to show a “making of” to folks who have not only purchased tickets, but already have their butts in the seats ready for the show?

It was the kind of disaster that made my theater-going experiences pain-inducing rather than inspiring.  The sooner movie theaters learn to trim the fat — no car ads, no concession ads, no sound-quality boasting demonstrations after the start time — the better I’ll feel about walking into the monstrosities that have made theater-going feel like an order from the McDonald’s dollar menu.  (Also, it takes less time for McD’s to arrange for my chicken wrap than it does the theater cellphone silence alert to conclude.  The one that claims your phone can “dream”.) 

But, let’s review some things about this dismal summer that, hopefully, studios will note:

• Positive word-of-mouth.  It’s what got This is the End above $100 million and what kept Superman from flying past $300 million in the US.  Man of Steel‘s final $600 million worldwide tally easily trumps that of 2006’s Superman Returns, which accrued only $400 million.  But WBs is trying to save face by proclaiming an early victory, even though you get the sense that they (and most analysts) were expecting (and hoping) for much, much more.  Despite its defenders, Man of Steel’s steep 60%+ plummet in its second week reveals that many people swayed to my side and left dismayed by Supes redressing.

• Audiences don’t always grow/niche audiences remain.  Star Trek’s first sequel in its re-imagined universe didn’t plummet “into darkness”, but with its box office figures merely matching its predecessor, the franchise remains stuck in a “cult” status.  J.J. Abrams insistence of regurgitating old Trek lore polarized audiences.  In fact, Trekkies recently decreed it last in a list that ranked all Trekkie films (including the comedy gem, Galaxy Quest), meaning that Abrams attempt to reach broader demographics has backfired.  His reinvention was neither fresh or globally appealing.  Let Trek be Trek.  

•  Sequels to successful Disney fodder can’t topple originals.  Despite Toy Story 3’s massive success — which remains Pixar’s box office champ — Disney’s transfusion of Pixar from an original concept factory into a sequel factory has not paid the dividends.  Despite Monster’s success, its inflated 3D price wasn’t enough to propel past Up’s massive balloon or even Ratatouille’s huge appeal overseas.  Planes — which was not produced by Pixar — is a massive dent to one of Disney’s few critical and audience-approved assets.  
  

• Imaginations still scare.  One of the few summer bright spots was The Conjuring, an unoriginal, but very effective little thriller that exceeded box office predictions.  But its success is its ode to old-school techniques; its most disturbing moment involves the protagonist and audience staring at a shadowy doorway and wondering what terrors linger within it.  It’s a reminder of 1999 when The Blair Witch Project destroyed the all-star, effects-laden The Haunting.  With films like Paranormal Activity, the horror genre remains strong and affords opportunities for directors to toy with audiences using old-school tricks — and innovation.  

• Movies are too damn expensive.  I’m not just talking ticket prices!  In a 21st century world in which dazzling feats, breath-taking locales and thousands of extras are all composed from pixellated computer graphics, how is it that The Lone Ranger is bleeding Disney out of $250 million?  Despite the economically dire US State like Michigan (which just promised $35 million in tax credits so WB would convert Detroit into Gotham City), studios are investing six-figures into almost every one of its tentpole films.  Even if you account for inflation — Superman 1 and 2 (1978 and 1980) would cost only $150 combined — movies are more expensive than ever and have more tools and clout to trim costs.  When Woody Allen can make his $9 million Manhattan on the actual location, but neither Spider-man nor the Avengers can fight on their real home turf — and still cost $200 million using CGI, soundstages and hardly any stars — there’s a problem, especially when these films depend on foreign revenue in the amount of $500 million just to break even!  It’s time to look to the “little guys” like World’s End, The Is The End, The Conjuring and even Dispicable Me 2 (which cost $80 million) to push Hollywood away from its A-movie budget mentality.  Otherwise, Lucas and Spielberg may been correct in their prophecy of doom.  

• We still like dramas.  The Butler remains a shining example of adult concepts that can defeat action fare like Kickass 2 (also see last year’s shining example when Marigold Motel defeated Resident Evil).  Despite last year’s resurgence in adult and indie hits like Moonrise Kingdom, the franchises are still being churned out at a great ferocity.  But gems like The Way, Way Back are encouraging saviors.  But we need another Moonrise or…dare I say it…My Big Fat Greek Wedding; something to really push the adults away from Netflix and back in the multiplexes to cast aside the stench of aloof teenagers and angry single parents (no offense, but take your angry children home for a nap instead of the movies, please).  

• Big explosions no longer cut it.  The golden days of Die Hard and Chuck Norris continue to dwindle with each underwhelming B-movie disappointment.  Fast Six’s huge gross owes much to its diverse cast and established action, which includes tight cars and hot chicks.  However, unestablished franchises are pressed to earn the good will of audiences with some fresh selling point.  Blowing up the White House was a money shot in 1996 when Independence Day stormed the theaters.  Nowadays, it simply doesn’t dazzle us. 

I really was saddened by the success/failure ratio.  However, I must plead that I missed movies like Despicable Me 2, which may have improved my winning rate.  But I also steered clear of RIPD, Wolverine, and The Lone Ranger.  This Summer has been humid in my fair state, but the cinema has had one hell of a dry spell and I’m feelin’ thirsty. 

Pacific Rim–Review

Pacific Rim is Guillermo del Toro’s tribute to everything that succeeds — and fails — in a classic Godzilla film.  It reminded me of my ritualistic television marathons when I repeatedly watched the king of all monsters wreak havoc on — or occasionally protect — his cinematic homeland of Japan during each film’s opening and closing moments.  I always retreated for snacks and beverages during the film’s midsection, which encompassed of boring, monster-less sequences in which a bevy of uninspired, uninterested human side characters connected the plot dots.  In Rim, there are lofty moments of downtime, but, unfortunately, there are no commercial breaks that allow us to retreat for a sandwich before the mayhem resumes. 

In Pacific Rim, del Toro has those lofty human moments that falter into action-movie cliches.   There’s the hot-headed pilot, Raleigh Becket (Charlie Hunnam of Sons of Anarchy) who disobeys his superior’s (Idris Elba from The Wire, Prometheus) direct orders, which causes dire consequences and forces him to resign.  That’s just the pre-title opener.

When a rift in the Pacific Ocean opens a gateway between Earth and an alien dimension, 100-meter-tall creatures, known as the Kaiju, began a worldwide tirade of mass destruction.  Earth’s nations begin assembling giant, robot bipeds, the Jaegers, to combat and defeat each beasts as it appears.  But, in order to successfully operate a machine of such scale, two operators must form a neural bridge so their individual minds can function as one.

The threat grows more frequent; the monsters begin arriving in pairs and in larger size (each Kaiju is given a numeric category, just like a hurricane.  They keep encountering fours!)  Naturally, years pass since Raleigh’s incident.  Now retired to working as a builder on a giant wall (Possibly an immigration parallel here?) to fend off the aliens foes, he’s re-recruited back by Stacker Pentecost (Elba) for one last, desperate horrah against the growing Kaiju threat.  Naturally, there’s a cute girl involved…who has a past. 

The human drama between bouts is all riddled with familiar formula.  My favorite always remains the final rallying speech: the ones in which a faction’s leader makes one final grandiose morale booster before the final battle ensues. (“The apocalypse is cancelled!”)  It didn’t work for me with Indpendence Day, or Return of the King, or Braveheart, or Pirates of the Caribbean Part III or, well, you get the idea.  There’s also moments in which our subcharacters have a moment to bolster tears and heart-felt farewells, but there are no establishing precursor moments (which were either cut in the final draft or never conceived).  There’s a father-and-son relationship, but I didn’t even realize they were related until the film neared its end — nor did I really care. 

But the real reason to see Pacific Rim is the in-you-face monsters-versus-robot battles.  The alien threats are treasures for our eyes and ears.  The creatures look and feel big.  Each villain possesses their own unique del Toro signature.  They even illuminate a surreal neon light pattern that helps us distinguish friend from foe during the frenetic brawls.  Del Toro avoids the mistakes made by Michael Bay and Zack Snyder: his fights are framed at a pleasant draw distance and the editing is relaxed.

Every blow has a sense of weight and impact to it.  Soon, the Kaiju unleash their own staple super powers, which look dazzling and imbue a sense of power.  Del Toro even incorporates some brief moments of suspense rather than cater mind-numbing nonsense, such as those hectic moments when the Jaegers lose electric power and remain helpless prey to their beast opponents or when our human protagonists wait and hide while being powerless but to listen for the subtle sounds of pending menace.

Rim contains some of the most dazzling special effects money and technology can afford.  The numerous monster/robot duels are bombastic and gleefully enthralling, with both sides taking turns at exchanging blows, dismemberment and demolishing skyscrapers and cruise ships (which is even used as a weapon!).  The fights mostly occur on the surface of Pacific Ocean and almost always contains rain, which splashes and ricochets off the smooth metal surfaces and coarse, scaled skins with the utmost realism.  It’s only during the film’s final (and unnecessary) 30-minute final stretch that the film falters into chaos and opaque action.

There were moments when I gleefully rejoiced in del Toro’s world.  But the film pressed on, even after I felt the tang of satisfaction.  The film begins to grow tired as it attempts to tie all loose-ends, which undercuts the sense of awe and severity from the penultimate battle.  The final brawl simply doesn’t work as well and the speckled bits of human sacrifice and loss are wasted on us.

Other than Pan’s Labyrinth (a film I’ll forever treasure), del Toro has always displayed more confidence with his monsters — whether they contain multiple eyes, massive claws and jaws, or carry gallons of an unpleasant gooey substance.  But he hardly conveys the same level of detail to the emotional side.  This would be more tolerable had del Toro settled on a singular premise, but he’s clearly attempting to invest in something that never reaches fruition.

I believe Pacific Rim lends itself to more installments.  The idea of having two humans connect into one conscience lends to an idea grander than merely two giant beings fighting.  If del Toro and I could form a neural connection, I can imagine I’d see his brain filled with creatures beyond my own comprehension and imagination.  The human cast would probably not even turn up.  Del Toro would find my mind is swirling with moments of glee and bliss, but ultimate disappointment.  He teases some enticing ideas.  Example: There’s a beautiful sequence when the humans conduct a Fantastic Voyage excavation inside the carcass of a dead Kaiju in the hopes of finding a preserved brain so they can form a neural bond with it and uncover vital clues.  That’s the stuff del Toro excells at!  For going big in scale and budget, del Toro got small where it counts the most.

March Madness

Snow gently dusts the eastern coast.  The birds remain dormant.  Outside, I hear my new heating unit burst to life as the outdoor thermometer displays numbers below freezing.  The warm glow of my TV projects an image of John McClane as he bellows that immortal catchphrase. “Yippie kay yay, Motherfucker”.  Nope, it sure doesn’t feel like Spring to me.    

The weather says winter, yet the studios are already feeding us a sweaty blockbuster frenzy; the kind that usually plays at  the idles of Memorial Day all the way through to Labor Day.  Yet, we’re only in March!

This is the time when maybe one — or even two — movies are thrown at us with high hopes and massive budgets.  I did some research on boxofficemojo.com and learned that many top-tier B-movies had a March debut.  There was Lethal Weapon (1987), The Matrix (1999), 300 (2005).  All of these films were originals that were strategically placed in the Spring to find a free weekend that was devoid of competition.  Apparently, word got out.

Now March seems to be the new May.  With movies like Jack the Giant Slayer, GI Joe 2, Oz the Great and Powerful, The Croods, Olympus Has Fallen, it’s an impossibly stacked non-Summer month.  It’s all due to the successes of recent films like Alice in Wonderland and The Hunger Games that revealed one single week of Spring Break can put Summer-sized butts in theaters.  Now, the month has become so congested that already movies hoping to beat the summer rush are still feeling the sting of tight competition such as Jack the Giant Slayer, which is already being decreed this year’s John Carter (another March release). 

Since movie studios are becoming more dependent on blockbusters, there’s fewer months to squeeze in the sheer girth of their money-chasers.  So months that were once cinematic dying grounds are now being pegged as boxoffice potential.  With March already becoming full, we’re already seeing other dry months pegged as slots for potential hits, such as Captain America: The Winter Soldier (April!) and Robocop (February!!).

The trend points to the end of the Summer blockbuster.  It makes sense.  My own fair state, NC, has a disjointed schooling system where children are either provided five months of Summer Break — or just two hours.  Their schedules are no longer fully aligned.  Kids will see films in the hot of one month OR the dire cold of another.  Even with Summer, Thanksgiving and Christmas remaining prime movie-going seasons, there’s a lust for slam-bang action that remains during any given Friday evening when work and/or school has all but weighed us down.

Frankly, I’m glad to see that movies are no longer being pegged by the four seasons.  In fact, films like last year’s Moonrise Kingdom and The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel did well in the midst of blockbuster season.  So March is the new May; a precursor of the fun to be had whenever the Northern Hemisphere actually does decide to get warm.  Movie theaters have always been a cheap entertainment (compared to most).  They also have awesome heating and air conditioning.  Both are equally refreshing during an evening with Bond.

Video Pick: The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey

If Peter Jackson’s Lord of the Rings trilogy was plagued by too many endings, then his new Hobbit trilogy prequel will remembered as being burdened by too many beginnings.  We follow the opening title with a prologue within a prologue.  First, we’re taken back to the same day that kicked off the original trilogy.  An elderly Bilbo Baggins (Ian Holm) is penning his book while his nephew Frodo Baggins (Elijah Wood) scurries to prep for his Uncle’s 111th birthday.  Bilbo’s story begins with a brief lesson on all things concerning dwarves, not hobbits.  The 101 intro ends in a large-scale battle between the defeated dwarves and an unseen foe that will be saved for another chapter.  It is Peter Jackson’s way of injecting a heavy dose of backstory and spectacle to tide us over for a long hour of talky exposition.  But by the time we’ve finally glimpsed a younger Biblo (Martin Freeman) smoking a pipe and greeting a strange wizard visitor, Gandalf (Ian McKellan), we’re already been prepped for a long, long ride.

Anyone who argued that LOTR involved lots of walking will have their claims reinforced here.  Jackson takes endless helicoptor shots as our bevy of dwarves, hobbits and wizards scale the vast mountains, forests and praries of New Zealand, um, I mean Middle-Earth.  Unlike Jackson’s predessor, The Hobbit doesn’t involve a natural series of obstacles and stopping points.  Instead, the heroes are randomly assaulted by the various evils of Middle-Earth, only to be bailed out, not once, but twice, by Gandalf, who has now eclipsed Darth Vader in the total number of grandiose entrances.

The Hobbit feels like a carbon-copy of the original trilogy, in which the moments you cherish and love remain in place.  We only have one hobbit, but Martin Freeman has fun with his finnicky, safe and secure Bilbo, who’s swayed to join a band of abbrasive dwarves who plan to reclaim their lost kingdom.  Unfortunately, his place in the saga, despite being the title character, is side-stepped for the dwarves.  Although there are 13, only a handful of them will stick out.

Despite the wide range of interesting faces and noble efforts, The Hobbit simply lacks the heart of the original.  There’s no Sam or Aragorn.  There’s no romantic subplot that suddenly doesn’t feel as tackled on to the orginal trilogy as before.  Even poor Gandalf is reserved to dictate the severity of the dwarves’ quest, but doesn’t match the same level of soulful heart-to-hearts with his hobbit companion.  Instead, poor Freeman is left to wander in the backdrop.

So, why do I recommend this film?  Simply put, The Hobbit is tremendous entertainment, despite the sluggish first hour and its seemingly endless battles that wear thin and lack the excitement we felt during the first’s Mines of Moria or the large-scale wars of parts two and three.  The backdrops offer pleasurable distractions from what is an endless exchange of swords and axes where none of our heroes suffer injury.  The finale produces any endless number of decapitations and ridiculous video-game-like twists in physics (Our heroes take one large plunge in a cave that beckons a “WTF” reaction from its audience.)

Yet, the tapestry and visuals bleed into our senses.  My initial viewing was without any 3D or the contraversial 48-frames-per-second.  However, I remains dazzled by the asthetics.  There are many new untapped areas of Middle-Earth on display —  most of which dazzle with imagination.   

There’s also some interesting new faces including Gandalf’s gentle wizard counterpart Radagast (Sylvester McCoy), whose appearance is only hindered by some rather crappy-looking CGI sled-riding scenes.  The dwarves that do ingrain in our memories are fun.  There’s hope that their characters will mature and stick with us during the second and third parts of this saga. 

The special effects have blossomed by two steps in many sequences, but have taken the plunge by one in others.  Jackson clearly loves his special effects team and has made the mistake of entrusting them with too many tasks, whereas the original saga (especially the first) had a more natural blend of practical and digital wonders.  There are moments when a bit of practical bit of lighting would have removed any distractions as witnessed during the magical moments in Lothlorien — where many familiar LOTR faces make a cameo appearance simply for the hell of it.  But there are stride, especially with the larger foes.  The goblins and trolls are remarkably life-like thanks to Weta Digital’s brilliance with motion capture and facial animations.  

Then there’s Gollum, who is the real reason The Hobbit deserves my recommendation.  Andy Serkin once again injects his tortured CGI counterpart with equal parts menace and tragedy.  There’s some beautiful uses of subtly in the performance, such as Gollum/Smeagal being a tad more lucid and cognizant than we’ve seen, as if to suggest that 60 more years of torment have not been kind to the little guy’s sanity (as well as being deprived of his precious). 

The Hobbit is a welcome journey to anyone who missed being in Middle-Earth.  But like any return trip, there’s a chance you will experience more turbelance and a feeling a deja vu.  And it’s also one very long ride — much too long.  If you thought Lord of the Rings was laborious, then stay away.  But if you like all things concerning hobbits, and dwarves, and wizards, and elves, and goblins, and bizarre giant rock people, then it’s at least worth taking the trip once.  But I doubt you’ll refer to the film as your precious.