My posts have been spare this month because — among many things — I have been on a movie strike!
August releases like Elysium and The World’s End showed promise. However, the trailers really suggested a sense of faint entertainment. I remain content to sit and ponder for films that might offer genuine “experiences”. In other words, neither was enticing enough to justify eight dollars. Yes, I’m being prejuduce — maybe even unfair, but I’ve reached displeasure breaking point where the only remedy would be to completely withdrawl from the multiplex. By going cold-turkey, I will rekindle my desire to sit in a beige-colored room filled with wining toddlers, loud and bright smart phones and a bevy of spectators who have no clue have far their sly comments travel even in a room filled with barrage of noise and light coming from Man of Steel’s frenetic conclusion.
But I remain a voyeur of moving frames. I maintain my ritualistic travels to Durham where Jim Carl and the good folks at the Carolina Theatre remind me what good cinema is: a collective experience where part of the fun is the love displayed before the lights fade and projector rolls to life. And no, I’m not referring to previews to NBC’s Fall line-up, which even includes a post-summary for all the lucky folks who thought they could avoid such nonsense by entering the theater just one minute prior to showtime.
When I think over the studios inferior summer lineup, I can’t help but ponder over the pre-movie tactics that piss me off long before the studio logo appears. Example: Man of Steel held a “private” early screening sponsored by Walmart. My screening ran late due to power outages. Two of my friends had to bail, leaving me with a pair of unredeemed passes. This eventually lead to a long debate three Walmart employees in order to procure equivalent to something that resembled a refund. (At one point, the customer service rep accused me of not attending the screening at all!). But before I had to endure the Walmart store, the movie finally began only to include a prelude: a “behind-the-scenes” featurette, which revealed plot elements and other things that were better saved for the actual film. Why on earth would Walmart have to show a “making of” to folks who have not only purchased tickets, but already have their butts in the seats ready for the show?
It was the kind of disaster that made my theater-going experiences pain-inducing rather than inspiring. The sooner movie theaters learn to trim the fat — no car ads, no concession ads, no sound-quality boasting demonstrations after the start time — the better I’ll feel about walking into the monstrosities that have made theater-going feel like an order from the McDonald’s dollar menu. (Also, it takes less time for McD’s to arrange for my chicken wrap than it does the theater cellphone silence alert to conclude. The one that claims your phone can “dream”.)
But, let’s review some things about this dismal summer that, hopefully, studios will note:
- Positive word-of-mouth. It’s what got This is the End above $100 million and what kept Superman from flying past $300 million in the US. Man of Steel‘s final $600 million worldwide tally easily trumps that of 2006’s Superman Returns, which accrued only $400 million. But WBs is trying to save face by proclaiming an early victory, even though you get the sense that they (and most analysts) were expecting (and hoping) for much, much more. Despite its defenders, Man of Steel’s steep 60%+ plummet in its second week reveals that many people swayed to my side and left dismayed by Supes redressing.
- Audiences don’t always grow/niche audiences remain. Star Trek’s first sequel in its re-imagined universe didn’t plummet “into darkness”, but with its box office figures merely matching its predecessor, the franchise remains stuck in a “cult” status. J.J. Abrams insistence of regurgitating old Trek lore polarized audiences. In fact, Trekkies recently decreed it last in a list that ranked all Trekkie films (including the comedy gem, Galaxy Quest), meaning that Abrams attempt to reach broader demographics has backfired. His reinvention was neither fresh or globally appealing. Let Trek be Trek.
- Sequels to successful Disney fodder can’t topple originals. Despite Toy Story 3’s massive success — which remains Pixar’s box office champ — Disney’s transfusion of Pixar from an original concept factory into a sequel factory has not paid the dividends. Despite Monster’s success, its inflated 3D price wasn’t enough to propel past Up’s massive balloon or even Ratatouille’s huge appeal overseas. Planes — which was not produced by Pixar — is a massive dent to one of Disney’s few critical and audience-approved assets.
- Imaginations still scare. One of the few summer bright spots was The Conjuring, an unoriginal, but very effective little thriller that exceeded box office predictions. But its success is its ode to old-school techniques; its most disturbing moment involves the protagonist and audience staring at a shadowy doorway and wondering what terrors linger within it. It’s a reminder of 1999 when The Blair Witch Project destroyed the all-star, effects-laden The Haunting. With films like Paranormal Activity, the horror genre remains strong and affords opportunities for directors to toy with audiences using old-school tricks — and innovation.
- Movies are too damn expensive. I’m not just talking ticket prices! In a 21st century world in which dazzling feats, breath-taking locales and thousands of extras are all composed from pixellated computer graphics, how is it that The Lone Ranger is bleeding Disney out of $250 million? Despite the economically dire US State like Michigan (which just promised $35 million in tax credits so WB would convert Detroit into Gotham City), studios are investing six-figures into almost every one of its tentpole films. Even if you account for inflation — Superman 1 and 2 (1978 and 1980) would cost only $150 combined — movies are more expensive than ever and have more tools and clout to trim costs. When Woody Allen can make his $9 million Manhattan on the actual location, but neither Spider-man nor the Avengers can fight on their real home turf — and still cost $200 million using CGI, soundstages and hardly any stars — there’s a problem, especially when these films depend on foreign revenue in the amount of $500 million just to break even! It’s time to look to the “little guys” like World’s End, The Is The End, The Conjuring and even Dispicable Me 2 (which cost $80 million) to push Hollywood away from its A-movie budget mentality. Otherwise, Lucas and Spielberg may been correct in their prophecy of doom.
- We still like dramas. The Butler remains a shining example of adult concepts that can defeat action fare like Kickass 2 (also see last year’s shining example when Marigold Motel defeated Resident Evil). Despite last year’s resurgence in adult and indie hits like Moonrise Kingdom, the franchises are still being churned out at a great ferocity. But gems like The Way, Way Back are encouraging saviors. But we need another Moonrise or…dare I say it…My Big Fat Greek Wedding; something to really push the adults away from Netflix and back in the multiplexes to cast aside the stench of aloof teenagers and angry single parents (no offense, but take your angry children home for a nap instead of the movies, please).
- Big explosions no longer cut it. The golden days of Die Hard and Chuck Norris continue to dwindle with each underwhelming B-movie disappointment. Fast Six’s huge gross owes much to its diverse cast and established action, which includes tight cars and hot chicks. However, unestablished franchises are pressed to earn the good will of audiences with some fresh selling point. Blowing up the White House was a money shot in 1996 when Independence Day stormed the theaters. Nowadays, it simply doesn’t dazzle us.
I really was saddened by the success/failure ratio. However, I must plead that I missed movies like Despicable Me 2, which may have improved my winning rate. But I also steered clear of RIPD, Wolverine, and The Lone Ranger. This Summer has been humid in my fair state, but the cinema has had one hell of a dry spell and I’m feelin’ thirsty.
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